You know, I learned sometime around January 2010 a really awful truth.
'Nice' is not a good thing.
Which is funny. Not like 'ha-ha' funny, but more like, 'Am I on the Twilight Zone' sort of funny or 'Did that really just happen' sort of funny. Odd, I suppose, is the right word. It's strange how horrible nice can be.
There are a lot of nice people in the world. Nice means smiling, seeming to care, feigning interest, and generally remaining neutral to your cause, feelings, problems, and mistakes.
Some people like having nice people around. It's nice when people seem not to judge you, seem not to mind what you do, seem to like you.
But 'nice' isn't a picture of reality. And nice people aren't your friends.
Some of the worst things people have done to me have been while they had a smile on their faces. They were trying to be nice. You know, that thing that seemed so alright at the time? But then all those nice people who were feigning interest about things you care about are still feigning interest while they watch your life collapse around you.
Here's the difference between a friend and a nice person. A nice person will walk by you in a burning building and comment, "That's really such a shame." A real friend will pull you out of that burning building.
We all have something in this world to give. And some of the best people in the world I know, love and respect are not 'nice' people. (Heck, most people wouldn't call my mother a 'nice' person, but she's the first to give her shirt off her back for people she absolutely despises.) The people I love are: cranky, miserable, awkward, generally flawed people with eccentricities and foibles. And I love them anyways. And I hope they love me back the same.
It's hard not to want to be surrounded by 'nice'. Everything's pleasant. no one judges your actions, you feel so safe.
But, that's not real. Good friendship to me requires a certain level of respect for a person, but also respect for their feelings, thoughts and actions. Not to mention the ability to criticize those thoughts and actions when a person gets to close to the fire. I think Nietzsche said it best when he said, "Go up close to your friend, but do not go over to him! We should also respect the enemy in our friend."
In life, we are surrounded by enemies...inside ourselves and without. But the best victories against these enemies come from a true friend. Nice people just don't cut it in real life.
'Nice' is not a good thing.
Which is funny. Not like 'ha-ha' funny, but more like, 'Am I on the Twilight Zone' sort of funny or 'Did that really just happen' sort of funny. Odd, I suppose, is the right word. It's strange how horrible nice can be.
There are a lot of nice people in the world. Nice means smiling, seeming to care, feigning interest, and generally remaining neutral to your cause, feelings, problems, and mistakes.
Some people like having nice people around. It's nice when people seem not to judge you, seem not to mind what you do, seem to like you.
But 'nice' isn't a picture of reality. And nice people aren't your friends.
Some of the worst things people have done to me have been while they had a smile on their faces. They were trying to be nice. You know, that thing that seemed so alright at the time? But then all those nice people who were feigning interest about things you care about are still feigning interest while they watch your life collapse around you.
Here's the difference between a friend and a nice person. A nice person will walk by you in a burning building and comment, "That's really such a shame." A real friend will pull you out of that burning building.
We all have something in this world to give. And some of the best people in the world I know, love and respect are not 'nice' people. (Heck, most people wouldn't call my mother a 'nice' person, but she's the first to give her shirt off her back for people she absolutely despises.) The people I love are: cranky, miserable, awkward, generally flawed people with eccentricities and foibles. And I love them anyways. And I hope they love me back the same.
It's hard not to want to be surrounded by 'nice'. Everything's pleasant. no one judges your actions, you feel so safe.
But, that's not real. Good friendship to me requires a certain level of respect for a person, but also respect for their feelings, thoughts and actions. Not to mention the ability to criticize those thoughts and actions when a person gets to close to the fire. I think Nietzsche said it best when he said, "Go up close to your friend, but do not go over to him! We should also respect the enemy in our friend."
In life, we are surrounded by enemies...inside ourselves and without. But the best victories against these enemies come from a true friend. Nice people just don't cut it in real life.
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